The NFL is placing a new concussion policy in locker rooms around the league to remind players that violent, hard-hitting collisions will still be pretty awesome, as well as really entertaining. According to commissioner Roger Goodell, the document is a must read for every NFL player.

Cowboys rookie Dez Bryant wants no part in a training camp tradition of performing chores and errands for veterans, and has refused to carry the dead weight of WR Roy Williams. Bryant says he has too many other things to concern himself with as he goes through the process of adjusting to the NFL.

As training camp is about to start, Vikings QB Tarvaris Jackson wanted to show the team how excited he was for another season to begin. He sent an RSVP last week, and has been following up repeatedly to remind the team he'll be there when players report.

Stating he only wants to drop a couple pounds for beach season, unemployed quarterback JaMarcus Russell has filed a grievance against his personal trainer, accusing him of being 'way too energetic and active, especially early in the morning.'

Jason Campbell was traded to the Oakland Raiders on Day 3 of the NFL Draft, and the former Redskins quarterback says he is energized by this new opportunity, and is absolutely thrilled to have a veteran like JaMarcus Russell showing him the ropes.

Only a few hours before the NFL Draft, unprepared Tampa Bay Buccaneers coaches were scrambling to put together a draft board. Each coach had just assumed someone else on staff had been working on it.

Citing a total disregard for decency and the rules of sport, Roger Goodell has decided to suspend Celtics forward Kevin Garnett for the first four weeks of the NFL season. Garnett threw an elbow into Miami Heat forward Quentin Richardson during a scuffle in front of the Heat bench on Saturday, and the action did not sit well with the NFL's commissioner.

Cleveland, Baltimore and even Cincinnati football fans are adamantly demanding Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger be suspended for a long time for his recent off field behavior.

"How can you trust a guy that would display behavior like that? Especially if he plays for Pittsburgh. Ugh," said Browns fan Morris Jackson, shuddering in disgust.

As a result of the Donovan McNabb trade to the Washington Redskins, some new and clever taunts aimed at McNabb have suddenly become useless. Twenty-seven-year-old Tyson Suskrand, a lifelong Eagles fan from suburban Philadelphia, had been working tirelessly on some fresh new taunts for McNabb, but will now be unable to use them.

Eagles quarterback Kevin Kolb has already begun discussing the Donovan McNabb trade in the past tense, as though it has already taken place. McNabb has been rumored to be on the move with Kolb as his likely successor.